You can't make this shit up. Snooping around the news this morning I stumbled across this article in Metro's UK edition.
A Pakistani admitted himself to hospital with a glass Pepsi bottle stuck in his butt. So far so good.
Obviously not being the sharpest knife in the drawer by putting the bottle up his rear end in the first place, he then used the following excuse: Thieves had inserted a Pepsi bottle into his anus before stealing two of his buffalo…Yep and then his pigs grew wings and little green men came to take him to the hospital in their flying saucer.
One bottle of Pepsi: $1
Ten minutes of fun: $0
X-ray in the hospital: $50
Worldwide public humiliation: priceless