Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Curtis E. Bear or what would Courtesy Bear do?

As you may or may not know I almost live a stone’s throw away from work. It is only a seven minute car ride when there is no traffic. Every morning I leave the house at the same time because you know, I am a creature of habit. And when I say habit I mean routine. And when I say routine I mean I do the same stuff every morning, week, month, year *lol*.

And every morning on my way into work I meet the same people. So naturally I would assume they are creatures of habit (read routine) as well. How come that one day I can drive right onto the main road with no car in sight and on other days they are standing bumper to bumper? I can’t even make out a reason or see some sort of regularity to that. So it is not as if the road is all jammed up on Fridays or I always get to have a smooth drive on Tuesdays. Don’t these people have to be in work on time? They can’t all be on flexible working hours, can they? I really don’t get it but that is not the worst of it.

I get really upset when I see women finish their make-up in the car. What? You don’t have the two extra minutes at home to apply your mascara or put on your lip gloss? This is ridiculous. You are holding up the traffic and I really don’t think I want to see that. It is something that belongs into the privacy of your home or at least the bathroom in your workplace for crying out loud.

And to you male eejits who think you own the road and it is okay to talk on the phone while driving and thereby going all over the place. There is a reason this is illegal. Also have your mothers never taught you any manners? If the traffic is bumper to bumper and somebody wants to get onto the main road from a tiny side road and you see that that road is backed up as well, it would totally make sense to let another car in. Yes, only because I am a woman driver does not mean you can be less courteous and keep me standing there. I hope Karma kicks you in the nuts.

Also I do mind you passing me with supersonic speed before you move in front of me and then drive as if you’re a 90 year old on a Sunday cruise. My apologies to all 90 year olds. Anyway you may have noticed that I need to vent. Sometimes I want to scream and kick when I am driving. Oh wait. I do scream and kick when I am driving. If it were not for the odd vent in the comfort of my own car I would have actually ripped off somebody’s head. Anyhoo it always reminds me of that Simpson episode "Screaming Yellow Honkers" when Marge had to go to a road rage class and then wondered what Curtis E. Bear, the Courtesy Bear would do :)


Rob said...

That is AMAZING! I had always heard that Germans were the best drivers but it seem that drivers do the same stupid tricks no matter where in the world they live huh? Good rant!

The all time best though, one time a mini-van was merging onto the highway and it was a bit erratic, it crosses a couple of lines in the process. As I passed her I noticed she was on the phone AND she had one foot up on the dashboard and was painting her toenails! I did not realize it was physically possible to paint your toenails in a car!

Lindz said...

I hate it when something happens to throw off my AM roustine, then you are in some weird funk for the rest of the day and can't quite seem to get things back to normal.

Josh has rubbed off on me and I am officially really bad with road rage, read: me screaming inside of my car but never acting on it. Nothing pisses me off more than when people won't let you into traffic OR when you let someone in and they don't say thank you but instead drive like they can't see over the steering wheel.

Melissa said...

I thank my lucky stars daily that I don't have to drive to work during rush hour...hey, I don't have to drive to work at all...though the congestion on my stairs sometimes get's to me ;)

Melisa said...

I think that eventually we should all have some kind of monorail system that plays happy music (just like at Disney World) that we can listen to as we enjoy our coffee or whatever on the way to work each day.

Anonymous said...

I feel for you. This is the equivanlent of my train ride stories. Thank God I don't have to drive to work.

I hate traffic and I formally apologize to anyone I may "meet" on the road...yeah I didn't let you in. I'm a NYC taxi driver's daughter I know where all the short cuts in the city are and all the tricks taxi's use to cut people off and get around traffic :) Don't hate me :)

Kat said...

Am I pissed off with Blogger because it just deleted my long comment? Why yes I certainly am.

Rob -What makes you think that? LOL Just because we have the odd highway without speedlimit,does not make us good drivers. Fast & Stupid? Yes! Ignorant? Check LOL

Lindz- I get all bothered when I something throws me off track in the mornings.

Melissa - Congestion on your stairs? Wow that much traffic in your house?

Melisa - Yeah monorail trains or at least cars that drive by themselves and you only have to enter your destination. Preferrably not into a bicycle GPS :)

Patty - I could never hate you. I would imagine those are mere survival skills in NYC. Here in the rural, hickey I know every cow by name country..well not so much. LOL Thanks for the laugh though.

Nicole said...

"My apologies to all 90 year olds" That cracked me up lol

Danielle A. said...

That is a great Simpsons episode - good reference!!! :)