Dear UPS man,
I do see how you got to make a living to "put food on your family" (thank you W for that Bushism). However to drop me a note in my mailbox because
Dear baby cat,
The next time you gotta drop one of your biological weapons of mass destruction fit to wipe out the odd village or two, try to do so into the freshly cleaned litterbox instead of behind it. It really is that simple! Mmmkthxbai.
Dear Aunt Flo,
Just get lost.